Al Andersen

What tools do you use to do “Life Planning?”

My professional career is working as a Servant Leader to guide software development teams.  And in this work, we use development tools that allow us to easily make changes in near real time.  While these tools have been widely accepted and put to use in the software world, they haven’t been explained or gotten much traction in our personal lives.  This trail tip is to help explain some of these words and how they can improve the planning of our personal lives.  Words such as:

Program Increment is the set time used to define the amount of work that will be completed in a set of four sprints.

Sprint” is a set time period used to get software development completed, typically two weeks.

“Innovation Planning” is a sprint that follows the completed four sprints and is used to do future planning, take classes, and implement process improvements.

 A problem with this process is that the Innovation Planning sprint can just become another sprint which is focused on getting previous work completed.  This leads to constant focus on development with no opportunity to step back and hit the planning button to refocus on future work to be done.

In our personal lives, you can think of the Innovation Planning sprint as a vacation time or extended long holiday weekend taken over the course of a year.  And the question for me became, “What was I going to do on our upcoming vacation time (Innovation Planning)?  A vacation that would take us to Nashville and beaches in Gulf shore, Alabama.

I started planning for this upcoming vacation and boy-oh-boy was I going to get all caught up.  I had bible reading to catch up on, other books to read, hikes to do every day, and projects to get done at my daughter/son-in-law’s home while visiting them in the Nashville area.  As we began the 1,200-mile drive to their home, I started looking at what was ahead of me and I didn’t like what I saw waiting for me. And thankfully, changes were started to come into focus for me as I was driving.  My focus went from planning painting to planning games and walks to do with three grandkids (ages, 9 months, 4, and 6) and letting my daughter do the painting. The plans for the long hikes and places to explore on the Gulf shore changed to let’s decide on one book to read and daily naps on beach. 

Driving home from the Gulf shore (about 1,500 miles), I had time to process the changes that made this vacation more successful and the word “BUSY” jumped out at me, as I wanted to show how I get things done and how important I am because I have to be busy all the time.  “I’d like to go out to dinner tonight but I’ve got this house project in full swing. Yes, let’s get together and play cards, but I’m swamped for the next two month, so let’s touch base and set a date in three months.  I’d like to be able to help you with that house project on Saturday but I’ve got my own issues to deal with.”  I wear my BUSY badge with pride and honor because I want to show you how important I am with all the busyness I’m doing.  And all this gets me pointing back Program Increments/Innovation Planning and how do I make that part of my life?

For me, it starts with Arlene and me planning the four sprints that will happen over the next two months. What do we want to get done, how long will it take, and how much is it going to cost? Then we have ongoing discussions around; are we are target for cost and timing? Moving to the Innovation Planning sprint; a renewed focus needs to take place with what are we going to do during our Innovation Planning sprint? With the first and most important question being; Have we planned the time for the Innovation Planning sprint and where will it take place? Are we doing a three-day weekend in the mountains, a day trip to a local hot springs, or a weekend at home with cell phones and TV off? Once this is determined, we can start planning the books to read, games to play, topics to discuss and nap (REST) time.

What are your plans to implement a Program Increment process with an Innovation Planning cycle into your life?  I’d like to hear your thoughts by emailing your reactions to alfred.a.andersen@gmail.com

This and other “Trail Tips” can be found at https://www.linkedin.com/in/alfredandersen and www.alandersen.co

Also, a collection of my first 101 tips have been published in a book and is available at Amazon or you can contact me to get an autographed copy of the book.

While reviewing some SAFe (Scaled Agile Framework) material for work, I came across this quote from Pater Block “It is misuse of our power to take responsibility for solving problems that belong to others.”    At first, I thought, hey that’s a nice quote and maybe I should post it on my social media sites.  Then as I kept thinking about it, I realized that there’s a lot to unpack here and it deserves to be a Trail Tip, as there are a lot of examples that can be pulled from this quote.

When leading a hike or just being a trail as part of a group, I try to always pack the: “ten essentials”, extra water, and plenty of food in case someone doesn’t pack what they need. However, the problems can start when someone starts to get used to me “solving problems that belong to others them)”, by always bringing extra water or food for them -just remember extra snickers doesn’t count here.  Getting ready for hikes, I need to be more challenging to others by reminding them to start carrying everything they need for hikes and make it into a Trail Tip teaching moment.

In my personal life, there are examples that can be explored with family and friends.  Here I think of the story of the “Prodigal Son” from the Bible.  The father let the son go when he wanted to leave and while the father heard about the demise of the son; ending up working for a farmer, cleaning pig pens, the father never chased after him to solve his problems, but instead, stayed at home, keeping an eye open for his return.  However, my tendency is to chase after family members and try to solve their problems or do their chores.  I need to remember that while painful to watch, it does not solve problems for them by throwing money at them or doing their areas of responsibilities while living at home.  We so often want the quick fix instead of the longer painful journey.  My neighbor was helping me replace the brakes on our van few years ago, which also involved repacking the wheel bearings.  Oh, how I wanted him to do this part for me.  But no, he just stood there saying nothing as I worked in the new grease that pushed the old gritty grease out.  More than once, I would look at him, looking for a sign I was finished, but he shook his head sideways, signaling there was more to do.  It took more patience and time, than I wanted to spend on it, but once done, the feeling of personal accomplishment was huge.

At work, it’s that same balance of me taking the time to go through the process to learn something new to fix my problem, versus going to someone who knows the answer to get the quick solution.  On the flip side, when someone comes to me with a problem that I know the answer to, my tendency is to say, “give me your keyboard and mouse, so I can fix the problem right away for you.”  Where is the learning for the person who had the initial problem?  Another good work example for me is when we are starting a project and we need to estimate the effort to get the work done.  Development estimates should be done by the developers who are doing the work.  So as the team leader, I need to be quiet and let them work through the estimates, versus me offering advice that isn’t even relevant.

We are living more and more in a world where we want the quick fix.  Why take the time to figure something out and learn something new, when we can go to an “expert”, who is willing to give us that answer we need.  And as someone who has the power and expertise in a given area, we need to guard against readily solving problems for others.  Yes, we can help coach them, but it is not our responsibility to solve their problems for them.

This and other “Trail Tips” can be found at https://www.linkedin.com/in/alfredandersen and www.alandersen.co

Also, a collection of my first 101 tips have been published in a book and is available at Amazon or you can contact me to get an autographed copy of the book.

So often when we think about things we want to change or do in our lives, we tend to focus on the new things to do. Yet in many cases, it’s not the new things we should do; it’s the existing ones we have put aside and almost forgotten about and they can be staring us in the face. About 35 years ago, I started taking piano lessons and did a few duets with my daughter Ashley who was 6 years old at the time.  Then life seemed to fill up with other things, the lessons stopped and I even quit practicing because I got “busy” with life.  It’s amazing how I can find time to watch TV for two hours as a time, but I can’t find time to practice piano for 30 minutes.  I’ve been telling myself that I’m going to start lessons again; once I retire from work in four years when I have “time”.  And yet I’m still finding time to watch TV -and often falling asleep half way through a program.  So why not start the piano practice again with the books I used long ago?

In hiking, what trails are out there that I used to do, but have ignored lately because I’m always looking for the new and different trails to do.  Maybe it’s the Manitou Incline that I used to do on a weekly basis.  Or some of the “standard” routes like the Sundance loop in Monument/Palmer Lake.  Yes, there is an excitement about doing new trails all the time, but there is also a comfort in going back to the tried-and-true standard routes that got us hiking in the first place.

In my personal life, I think of the relationships in my life that used to be so close, but now seem to be at risk of falling off my radar.  We can get caught up in the excitement of moving to a new area or going to a different church, where we want to connect and build new relationships.  Yet it is those existing relationships that have helped mold us into who we are today that need to be maintained and cultivated.  Or it’s a hobby/art form that we used to enjoy to expand our skills to grow our memory.  In my case, it’s maintaining the relationships from Chicagoland and starting on the piano again.

In my work life, it can be going back to skills that helped get me where I am today, but I haven’t taken the time to refresh them.  Yes, at work it is important to always be learning new skills, but it’s just as important to sharpen our existing areas of expertise.

It is exciting to go after the new and different things to get that emotional buzz from learning new things, but I think it’s just as important to go back and pick up these things that were foundational in making us who we are today.  What things have you done in your hiking, personal, and work life that you are no longer doing that you need to pick up again?  It could be something you need to look for or in my case, it’s the piano that I see everyday and completely ignore.  It may take me 3 or 6 months, but I will be back nailing “This is Holy Ground” on piano and will let you know when it’s on YouTube…

On a recent hike with seasoned professional Randy Phillips to Eagle Peak; 3 miles round trip, 2000 feet of vertical, a peak at 9366 feet elevation; we took the wrong turn because we thought the “well-traveled” trail was the right trail.  After about 30 minutes and climbing 300 feet, we realized we were on a trail, but not the one we needed.  We then kept look down at what we just climbed (not wanting to make that descent) and looking for a way to bushwhack across to the trail we needed.  And we didn’t like either option.  Finally, we decided to make the descent looking for the trail we missed.  We knew it was down there, as we kept repeating, “just another 50 feet to go down.”  And then, there it was; the trail we missed on the other side of this ice flow.  At which time, Randy Phillips said (so appropriately), “This is starting to feel like the makings of a Trail Trip.”  And in more than just one way.  1): we don’t call it mistake when we pick up a “wrong” trail, we call it getting extra credit for the additional distance and vertical we get from it. 2): when we realize we need to get back on the “right” trail, do we try for the short cut, thinking we can bushwhack across an unknown traverse, or do we take the extra time/distance to descend to pick up the trail where we left off?   3): Do we get comfortable and relax our trail awareness, because we think we think the path is so “obvious” and we don’t look for other trails that are beyond an obstacle?  And how do we apply these three lessons to our hiking, personal, and work life?

1): Getting extra credit.  How do we process mistakes we make?  Do we see them as time and energy wasters, getting upset about the mistake or do we look at it as an extra credit lesson we can apply the next time we are in a similar situation?  Rest assured, the next time we do Eagle Peak, I will not miss this trail turn to the left. In our personal life, do I stew and get moody about mistakes I’ve made or do I talk to family members about what happened, why it happened and what we all need to do differently.  And then at work, do I try to cover up my mistakes before anyone sees them or am I transparent about them with my co-workers and management.

2): Recovering from a mistake.  How do we fix our mistakes?  Do we get to the root problem or just try to cover it up?  In hiking, we tend to want to aim for the shortest distance to get back on a trail, often not knowing what obstacles lie ahead when we are bushwhacking. In our personal life, I tend to want to just cover things up.  Let’s just put a band-aid on it and hope it goes away.  Or do I take the painful time to clean out the problem and make it right.  This often happens to me with home repairs…  And then there are the work problems we need to correct.  We think no one sees the mistake and we can just spend some extra time fixing it before anyone notices it.  As mentioned above, we need to have complete transparency here to state the problem, tell how it happened, and describe the steps we are taking to correct it.

3): Getting comfortable.  It’s been said that most car accidents happen within a five-mile radius from our homes because we get comfortable and relax our awareness.  We don’t pay attention to the things that may have changed and we don’t ask the obvious questions.   In hiking do we notice the different trails that are connected to the trail we are on?  Do we stop to look beyond the obstacles that may be in front of us?  In our personal life, do I take for granted the relationships I have with my spouse, family members, and friends?  Or do I take the effort to maintain and improve them.  Then at work, do I treat things as obligations, doing the minimal effort needed or do I have a passion for excellence in everything I do?

In a word, I think it’s AWARENESS!  Staying focused and sharp in the situation of the moment.  Where do you tend to get comfortable in your hiking, personal, and work life?  How do you handle mistakes and recover from them?

Wingman, Wing-mate, Wing-person, etc., call them what you want, but I define them all as the person who supports, protects, carries the load, guides, and lives in the shadow of the person taking the spot light.  Names like Tenzing Norgay (for Edmund Hillary – the first person to summit Mt. Everest), Edwin Aldrin & Michael Collins (for Neil Armstrong – the first person to walk on the moon), and Eberhard Bethge (for Dietrich Bonhoeffer – theologian and anti-Nazi leader).  I believe Hillary, Armstrong, and Bonhoeffer all owe their success -in part- to these Wing-mates who all were on the journeys with them in life.  And specifically, Bethge.  “They had no inkling that their friendship, not yet begun, would become the means by which Bonhoeffer’s writings were preserved and disseminated throughout the world for generations.”  [Bonhoeffer Abridged page 102, by Eric Metaxas].  I believe that we are all called to be Wing-mates for others to help them achieve success and that we also need Wing-mates to help us be successful.

In hiking I lead a Road Church Mountain Men Monthly Hikers group.  While I’m the point person for this group and it looks like I know what I’m doing al the time, it’s only because I’ve had Wing-mates like Steve Santana and Randy Phillips do pre-scouting hikes with me on trails where I needed additional information.  And in a sense, I’ve become Wing-mates for other hikes as I’ve been a part of helping them reach their individual goals.

In my personal life, my wife Arlene Andersen is my Wing-mate and I serve as her Wing-mate as we help and encourage each other to live out the dreams and goals for our lives.  For these Trail Tips I write, I have been blessed by many Wing-mates as they have encouraged me with comments on my writings and have shared them with others.

In my work life, Wing-mates have been there to encourage and steer me on numerous course corrections.  It can be defined as being in a Mentor – Mentee relationship, where we need to be both. A mentor for others (being their Wing-mate and having a mentor (a Wing-mate) to help us be successful in our careers.

As said in the TV show Elementary, “I feel like I’ve strived here.  Not because of who I am, but because of who I’ve come to know.”  We are all called to greatness in our own unique ways.  And having a Wing-mate will go a long way in making you successful in your greatness.  At the same time, we also need to be pouring our lives into others as their Wing-mates to help them achieve their own greatness.  Who are the Wing-mates in your life and who are you going to be a Wing-mate for to help them?

The internal alarm clock starts to stir me at 4:45 am and I contemplate why my body gets me up this early.  It’s a Tuesday -you know the drill; get up, get the trash out, grab something frozen for breakfast/lunch, grab the hiking gear and get out of the house by 5:15 without waking the dog or anyone in the house.  The car temp says it’s 27 degrees outside.  Not bad for a morning hike.  I’m at the High Drive trail head at 5:40. Temp is now 20 degrees and with no moon, it’s completely dark, and I’m doing this hike by myself.  Put on the micro spikes and turn on the headlamp.  It’s time to start the 3.75-mile climb with 1,700 feet vert to the top of Mt. Buckhorn in the dark for the first 40 minutes.  And now I’m wondering why I’m doing this in the first place.  I hate hard mornings.  And there seems to be A LOT of them lately.  Like wanting to pull the covers over my head and go back to bed, I want to go back in time to not make the decisions that have created pain and hardship in my life.  But I can’t go there.  I’m at the trail head and it’s time to start climbing.  The trail is 90 percent ice covered, it’s dark and cold.  But I have the headlamp, micro spikes, and hat/gloves/jacket -tools of the trade.  I know I will be cold for the first 15 minutes, but will warm up as I move.  The same holds true for the other hard mornings.  It’s dark and cold, but God has given us the tools, resources, and friends to get through these hard mornings -but do I use them?  After hiking in the ice-covered valley trail along the side of the mountain for 2.5 miles, the horizon starts to appear, the darkness starts to fade away and it hits me that this is the beginning of a new day.  As I continue to climb, the eastern sky starts to light up with the sun and the mountains to the west reflect the morning sunrise sun.  I am in awe of the beauty of the new day with the sun coming up.  And as I stop at the top of Mt. Buckhorn to take it all in, God starts to speaks to me in a quiet voice.

“Al you are only seeing this with Me on this mountain because you went through the hard morning of getting up at 4:45 and starting a hike in 20 degrees in total darkness.  Al, do you want to trade these hard mornings and miss what I want to show you and have you experience?  And do we need to talk about the hard times you are having with your kids and the other areas in your life?”  Al, I’ve got a sunrise and new day just waiting for you as you climb these mountains in your life.  The sun will always come up, new beginnings are just waiting for you to grab, and I am never going to leave you.”

With the micro spikes on, I’m now running down the mountain on the ice, full of a new freshness for what the day is going to bring.  At work, I’m asked about the hike.  I share the 20 degrees, the darkness, but I spend most of the time showing the pictures of the incredible sunrise and its beauty.  The beginning of a new and great day.

What are the hard mornings you are facing in your life right now?  Are they family/relationships, work or in other areas?  Who is helping you get going in the mornings?  Just like laying out the gear and doing prep work for an early morning hike, what are you doing the evening before to prepare for your hard morning?

Have you ever had the opportunity to do one of those “once in a life time experiences” and didn’t do it? This happened to my wife (Arlene) and me as we were driving home from Nashville to Colorado Springs last fall. We stayed overnight in a hotel in Topeka, KS. and at breakfast met a couple a few years older than us who were also staying there to go to the “Chicago” concert that night. And low and behold, they had an extra pair of tickets and wanted to know if we would be their guests. We thought about it for a minute; thinking about missing another day at work, needing to get home to obligations, getting the dog from the kennel a day later etc, etc, etc. So we said “Thanks for the offer, but “we have to get home”. Starting our drive home, we got to the Colorado/Kansas border 360 miles later; then looked at each other and said, “Now why didn’t we take them up on going to the concert with them?”

Since then, we have had a few opportunities to do some last-minute things and we have started evaluating them by asking; “Is this a Chicago Thing that we will regret if we don’t do it. So, what are the “Chicago Things” you have done or regretted not doing in your life.

In hiking, I’ve missed out on a few “Chicago Things” hikes because I thought chores -which could be postponed a day- were more important. To avoid missing out on these rare hiking opportunities, I’ve made a list of the high priority hikes I’ve want to do. With this list in mind and including some done over the past years, I’ve been able to knock off: Ring the Peak, Dixon Trail, the C-49 crash site, Cap Rock, Grand Canyon Rim2Rim, and the B-17 crash site west of Larkspur. Still on my list (which does grow) is: Crystal Mills, the Colorado Trail, and Everest Base Camp Trek.

In my personal life, the “Chicago Things” I’ve missed mostly center around places with People. Three-day tuna fishing excursions with my brothers Wayne and Sam (now deceased), Road trip (Chicago to Washington DC) with Arlene to pay last respects to President Reagan, and the Inaugural Ball (we had tickets) for President George W. Bush. But there are the things we haven’t missed. Road trips: to St. John’s Newfoundland, Florida, and California.

In my work life, “Chicago Things” missed include: watching a live Shuttle Launch in Florida while at a sales training convention because I thought I had to get home 24 hours sooner, not offering to help co-workers when my “plate” was overflowing with work that “I had to get done immediately”. On the flip side there are the “Chicago Things” we didn’t miss, which include: a business trip to Washington DC where I was able to bring my family and get a private tour of the White House, several other business meetings in different locations where I was able to bring Arlene, and projects I was able to work on because I stretched myself.

“Chicago Things” typically come up at the last minute, are from sources we don’t expect, and they involve work as we need to change our “set” plans on the fly. They may be part of our bucket list or things we never thought of doing. The question for Arlene and me has become: Is this a Chicago Thing we will regret if we don’t do it? If yes, it will likely require some last minute changing to our plans and there could be some extra costs involved, but it will create new memories that will last a life time. We need to cherish the “Chicago Things” we were able to do in the past, let go of the ones we missed, and anticipate the ones yet to come.

Driving through Rocky Mountain National Forest last summer, my wife and I were saddened to see the damage being caused by Pine Beatle bugs.  It was shocking to see how such a little bug can destroy such a large tree and a group of them can destroy a large area of a forest.

Which got me thinking about what are the little bugs in my daily routine that are destroying my productivity and as a group; are damaging my entire organization and reputation.  Here are some of the Pine Beatle Bugs I’ve seen at in my life.

• Multitasking during meetings.
• Being late for appointments and meetings.
• Not accepting or declining meeting invites, so others are left wondering if you will attend.
• Not responding to emails and text messages
• Not responding to phone calls
• Not backing up the files on your computer on a regular basis
• Not taking the time for training classes
• Keeping quiet during meetings to avoid issues that need to be addressed
• And the list can go on…

And while something small like a Pine Beatle Bug can destroy a tree, small fertilizer stakes can add growth, life to a tree, and over time help build up an entire organization and my reputation.  Here are some of the fertilizer stakes I’ve seen at work in my life:

• Taking time to write an email thank you to someone when they do a job well done.
• Paying attention to training sessions and actively contributing.
• Taking 10-minute power walks after long meetings to re-energize.
• Helping others outside your organization.
• Making the effort to meet in person with others.
• Attending meetings in person in conference rooms with others instead of staying in your office (can you say multitasking).
• Connecting with team members (who work in other locations) on Facebook to help build stronger virtual teams.

Here is a quote (from the TV show Elementary) that I’ve used in previous Trail Tips and bears worth repeating.  “The world is full of obvious things which no one by any chance has [initially] observed.”  So, what are the small things (Pine Beatle Bugs) that you need to start observing in your life and get rid?  And on the flip side, what are the fertilizer stake that need to plant in your life to cause long term consistent growth?

Joe Burrow, a college football quarterback for LSU in the 2019/2020 season led his team to win the National Championship.  Along the way; he won the Heiman Trophy, and set numerous records at a school, conference, and national level.  One of the things that is often mentioned about him, is how he wanted to play football for Nebraska, but he was turned down because he wasn’t good enough”.  He went on to play for Ohio State as a backup quarterback for three years, and seeing he would not be starting, he transferred to LSU for his final two years.  And the rest is history.  Thus, it begs the question of:  What did LSU see in him that Nebraska and Ohio State overlooked?  And what am I overlooking in my hiking, personal, and work life?

In Hiking, what trails have I overlooked?  Am I skipping them because I’m judging them on their initial appearance and not what lies ahead on them?  Taking High Drive to get to Mount Buckhorn (3.5 miles one way) is prime example.  High Drive doesn’t look interesting because it’s a 2.5-mile hike on a Forest Service Road that is a continuous climb with [no] views.  But then the last mile to the top of Buckhorn offers 360-degree views and going down High Drive offers great views to the west and north.  Which also brings up a side tip, that often we just need to stop, turn around, and take in the view behind us; to see the beauty of a trail that we are on. 

In my personal life, what filters do I use to judge others?  At social events, do I decide to sit at certain tables or try to start conversations with others based on their “looks” or “position”?  How can I get beyond that “first impression” and really get to know a person; their strengths, talents, and who they are?

At work, how do I select projects when given a choice?  Do I take them on that first impression or do I try to take an initial long-term view?  And for the team members: how am I judging the people I want to have on the team with me?  Am I picking the loud flamboyant people or do I look across at everyone to see those hidden talents they can bring to the project?

The story of Joe Burrow with Nebraska, Ohio State, and LSU; challenges me to stop and look at trails, people, and work in a new way.  It’s pausing to take off the “First Impression” blinders and look at the overall picture/scope of the choices I’m making.  What are the filters you are using to decide on the trails, people, and work in your life?  What are the filters you should be using to decide on the trails, people, and work in your life?

I don’t like going through hard times, I just want to get to the solution.  Job searches, recovering from an injury, family difficulties; all are just some of the problems that I just want to get past and move onto the solution.  Like Bruce Willis in the movie, “The Kid”, when he goes to the psychiatrist and says “Just give me two pills to make the problem go away”.  I just want to get to the solution.  I want to stay in bed until it’s light outside and pretend the hard time isn’t there.  But I’m learning there is a beauty we can see in the hard times; as I was reminded of this on a recent hike I led when we started at 6 am, in the dark, and a temperature in the 30s, so we could catch a sunrise.  Like a hard time; it’s dark, uncomfortable, the path isn’t clear, and I just want to walk in the full sunshine.  The beauty comes when I begin to embrace the journey.  Paying attention to path I’m taking in the dark, feeling the coldness change, and seeing the horizon change (45 miles away) with the sunrise.  We stop to watch the sunrise with its beauty reflected in the clouds and sun begin to break the horizon.  All things we would miss if we didn’t take time to embrace the beauty of a hard time.

In hiking, am I more concerned about how fast I can do a hike, pushing others on to met my goals, or do I embrace their pace and enjoy the conversation with them as I hike?  When I’m doing a hard hike, do I take time to stop and enjoy the beauty of where I’m at or am I so focused on just getting it done.  The Manitou Incline is a great example.  Am I focused just on getting up the 2700+ steps or do I make stops along the way to turn around and see the beauty of the climb?

In my personal life; many of my hard times come from relationships: family, close friends and organizations (church, professional originations, etc.).  Do I ignore problems by “wanting to stay in bed until it’s light outside and pretend the hard time isn’t there?” Or do I embrace the hard time and have the difficult (hard) discussions with those around me.  And as I do this, I begin to see the change (beauty) taking place in me as I take the time to work on the necessary restoration.  As Timothy Ferriss says in the 4-Hour work week book; “I believe success can be measured in the number of un-comfortable conversations I’m willing to have.”

At work, examples of hard times for me have been being unemployed, needing to take classes to improve my skill set, and working with difficult people.  In all these cases the beauty can come by taking time to embrace the journey and see what is taking place around me.  For unemployment: what are the different ways I can expand my network, relooking at what do I really want to be doing, or asking myself am I matching a potential job with my strengths and career goals.  Do I see classes as something I just want to get through or do I see the beauty in what I can learn along the way?  For difficult people, it’s taking the time to observe them.  What are their styles and how do I adjust to meet them where they are at in life?

There is a beauty in the hard times we go through if we take the time and effort to see them for what they are. Climbing up a mountain with 1400 vertical feet to see a sunrise 45 miles away on the horizon is the daily reminder I need to remember right now as I’m in my job search.  It’s time for me to stop each day to take in the beauty of my job search.  What are the hard times you are going through right now and what are you going to change, so you can see the beauty in them?

I hate hard places.  We think of them as places of no growth, desolate, dry and where we are all alone.  Places where things don’t change and are barren.  On a recent hike, I came across this tree growing in a hard place.  A place where there is no water, hardly any soil, and exposed to the elements on three sides.  And yet there is growth taking place there.  Granted, it’s likely slow growth; growth that is taking a long time compared to growth that would happen in more ideal conditions, but there is growth never the less.  But how often do we consider the growth happening in the hard places in our lives?  And I would say for me, I don’t most of the time because I’m so caught up in the desolate, dry, and loneliness of the hard places I’m in.

In hiking there are the hard places of accidents, missed opportunities, weather events, closed trails, performance set-backs, etc. that can create the hard times in our lives.  We tend to focus on the hard place and don’t stop to really look around for the growth that can be taking place.  Like the tree growing in the rock.  It’s so easy to hike right past and miss the areas of growth and beauty taking place in our own lives on the trail.  Like going up the Manitou Incline, we can be so focused on trying to get up it, we don’t pause, stop, turn around to catch a morning sunrise or beauty of being above the clouds.

In our personal lives, we have all gone through this past year of COVID and the hard places it has put us in.  Then there are the hard places we create in our lives when we compare our reality to the false expectations, we tend to set on ourselves.  We all want the perfect family, holiday times, health, home, friends, etc. and we when don’t have them; we can go down the hole of thinking things aren’t going to get better and thus we see ourselves being stuck in hard places in our life.  We think of everything as being bad and hard; so we miss the beauty and growth taking place.  Like the slow growth of the tree in the rock; there is growth to be seen when we stop and look for it. 

At work, the hardest places for me have been the periods of unemployment.  And I let it get worse when I compare myself to others who also are unemployed, because “they seem” to land jobs faster and get the better jobs.  I get consumed with the job search and don’t think about anything or anyone else.  Growth can take place when I stop to take classes, attend seminars, build my network, explore new opportunities, and use this “extra” time to help others.

We all have and all will experience hard places in our lives.  We want them to end and be over with fast; like the 5K race, when we are really in a marathon, or worse (more growth) the Leadville 100-mile race that is between 9,200 to 12,600 feet elevation.  Growth in hard places happens when we quiet and stop ourselves to see everything taking place in our lives.  And like sharing this picture of growth in a hard place, our growth take place when we allow others to come along side of us to walk with us in our hard places.  We are not meant to walk this journey of life alone; especially during the hard places we find ourselves in.  Who are you letting take this journey with you?

Have you ever had a “Word” you thought you were supposed to speak into someone’s life and you didn’t because of excuses you were making in your mind?  This has happened to me twice -both at funerals- where I felt the leading to say something but I didn’t.  The first time was at the funeral for the father of Bob Hess in Glen Ellyn, IL. over 20 years ago.  I was going to say something like: “I didn’t know Bob’s dad, but I could tell the kind of man he was because of the traits I see in his son Bob Hess.”  The second time was last Saturday at the funeral for Bill Callen, where I was should have stood up and said “It’s been said that 99% of the people in the world don’t think they can achieve greatness, so they aim for mediocrity; and just to let you know: Bill is not in that 99%.  Rather he is in the 1% of the top 1%, as he has impacted generations with the all the music bands he formed and led over his life.”  But because of battles in my mind, I just sat there and didn’t say anything.  And just like remembering the events at the funeral for Bob’s Dad, I’m sure I’m going to remember not saying anything at Bill’s funeral for years to come.  Going forward, I’m going to use these past events to as a reminder that there are always words of encouragement that I can speak into the lives of others as I go about my Hiking, Personal, and Work life.

In hiking, there are opportunities to speak words of encouragement every time we cross paths with someone.  Be it; a group of Fort Carson soldiers running through Red Rocks Open Space, where I can stop to cheer them on as a group; to the person struggling on the incline, where they need a personal word of support or drink/snack to help them on their way.  I don’t think anyone has ever said, “Thanks but I don’t need your encouraging words.”  We are all driven to new heights or helped across the finish line by the words of life, we can speak into others on the trail.

In our personal life, like the words our parents hammered in our head “If you can’t say something nice to a person, don’t say anything at all.”  These words are as true today, as they have ever been.  Our words need to be giving life to others.  And unfortunately, I tend to miss saying these words to those closest to us, because the closer we are to people, the more faults we tend to see.  But it’s those closest to us, who need the supporting words the most.  And it extends outward from our inner circle. To our neighbors, friends, relatives, and people we see during our day-to-day business transactions.  Everyone appreciates a “Thank You for doing ___, You really did a great job on _____, or words of encouragement during a difficult time.”

At work, words of encouragement can breathe life into a difficult day or a struggling project.  It’s easy to start doubting our capabilities and skills when things aren’t going right.  Having co-workers who are encouraging can often make the difference between the failure and success of a project.  And it’s not just our co-workers; support staff and our upper management chain need words of encouragement just as much as anyone.

We need to remember that our words spoken to others need to come not from our head, but from our HEART.  Our body language, eye contact, tone of voice, inflection, etc. all speak volumes on how others will hear what we are saying to them and the genuineness of the words spoken.  Take time to assess what encouraging words you may have for those you will be interacting with during a given activity/event.  Ask yourself “who will you be seeing today and what can I say that will breathe new life into them and lift their spirit?”

“… when it comes to finding out about new jobs – or, for that matter, new information or new ideas – “weak ties” are always more important than strong ties.  Your friends, after all, occupy the same world that you do.  They might work with you, or live near you, or go to the same church, schools, or parties.  How much then, would they know that you wouldn’t know?  Your acquaintances, on the other hand, by definition occupy a very different world than you.  They are much more likely to know something that you don’t.  To capture this apparent paradox, Mark Granovetter coined a marvelous phase: the strength of weak ties.  Acquaintances, in short, represent a source of social power, and the more acquaintances you have the more powerful you are. Connecters like Lois Weisberg and Roger Horchow – who are masters of the weak tie – are extraordinarily powerful.  We rely on them to give us access to opportunities and worlds to which we don’t belong.” Malcolm Gladwell, The Tipping Point, page 54.

So, who are our acquaintances in our Hiking, Personal, and Work lives? And we also need to ask, who am I considered as an acquaintance to?

In Hiking, I think acquaintances can be social Facebook pages such as “The Manitou Incline, Everything’s better on Incline” or “14ers.com”.  Places (people) I can tap into when I need advice on a something about the incline or a given 14er outside the scope of my friends.  And there are the people as well, like Brian Ratterree.  An acquaintance I may only see a few times a year, but someone who I will make an effort to see and connect with, when I’m at the Manitou Incline base.  And that is where our effort comes into play.  We can have others as acquaintances, but we also need to be acquaintances to others.  Be it posting helpful information on a Facebook page or being sincerely available when someone reaches out to us.

In our Personal life, I think of acquaintances as the businesses I use for car repairs, aka “JJ Tracks” and “Facinelli Motors”.  Places I not only take my cars to, but they are also places I can call or visit for answers to questions.  And then there is Debbie in the paint department at The Home Depot, who I had gotten to know as an acquaintance. And when I realized I needed 50 bottle openers for sparkling grape juice at my daughter’s’ wedding reception, she gave me a box of paint can openers and said just bring them back when you are done.  They are people I can reach out to; to get help outside of the scope of my friends.

At work, I think of acquaintances as my LinkedIn connections. And how one contact can open up a whole new word of opportunities.  I recently attended a Dallas-Fort Worth Project Management Institute seminar on LinkedIn and connected with Brandy Patton.  After sharing our stories (becoming acquaintances), she told me about the Lake Pointe Church Job Connection ministry, which I’m now using to help me in my job search.  Co-workers (current and previous) can also become acquaintances.  People I’m likely not having over for a BBQ, but they are people I can reach out to and tap into their circle when I need help.

Amy Rees Anderson in a 2013 Forbes article wrote “I once read a quote by the ever so brilliant writer known as Anonymous. It states, “People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.”  The most powerful tool you have in creating success [acquaintances} in your life is to appreciate other people. When you appreciate others you will find that your relationships are stronger, your circle of friends will grow wider, your career and business will succeed beyond your expectations, and your life will simply be happier.” The Power of having acquaintances….

We all have been there and experienced it.  Being in a big box store when you ask a sales associate where a particular item is located?  The typical response is: Go to aisle 78 and it’s half way down on the right side: and if not there, they may have moved it to aisle 14 on the end cap.  Then there is the associate, who says.  “Let go together and find it, as it might have been moved, but I’ll stay with you till we get you what you need.  And isn’t this what we all need at different at times in our lives. Someone to get in the mud/snow and walk through those tough journeys with us.  And we need to do the same.  Get in the mud/snow with others and help them on their difficult journeys. I’m finding the surprising thing about these Boots on friends is that they may come to us from places we least expect it. Going through a job search, I got connected with Bobby Cornelius, at Lake Pointe church in Texas; who asked me what help I needed on this journey.  My response was “Bobby, I need someone to put their boots on and walk this journey with me.  Someone who has been down this path before and will give me guidance and point out the trails to avoid and trails I need to rush to.”  And as my emotions rose up in me, he said, I’m putting them on now…In Hiking, who has put their boots on to help with you on your difficult trails?  It’s where others have stayed with us during our hard journeys, walked along side of us, given us encouraging words and helped us push through.  It’s training next to us when we are recovering from a broken Tibia, or coming out of the Grand Canyon with incredible leg cramps and having dry heaves as we push to the finish.

In our Personal life, it’s family tragedies where I often see people putting their boots on and making sacrifices for us.  Walking out of an Emergency Room at the hospital at 3 am to see friends sitting there, just to be available in case we need something. It’s people bring over a meal, eating with us; while we share our sorrow and then taking the extra time to do the cleanup for us.

At Work; it’s often during the initial time of starting with a new company.  We get the organizational charts, the company polices, and the process documents to follow; but who can give us the information on how to really get things done? Who has the informal power? How should we approach difficult people? Who are the client power people we need to interact with? What information does the management really want in status reports?  All questions that can we can get answered when we find the person(s) who are willing to put on their boots and help us during the first critical weeks in a new job?  And in the case of being out of work, as mentioned above, it can be the person who puts on their books to walk with us during our time of unemployment.

Boots on people can come in and out of our lives as we travel on the trails of life.  It’s looking for them in our times of need and reading people to know who can be approached as a potential boots on friend.  And it goes both ways.  We also need to be available to be a boots on friend to others.  Take some time with your inner circle of friends and share how you have been helped by people who have put their boots on for you and how you have put your boots on to help others.

Do you ever get tunnel vision when going thru a crisis or major event in your life; where you don’t think about anything else?  For me, the answer is a resounding YES!!!  And 2020 was not exception: COVID, lose of job, kitchen remodeling, and a major roof repair project.  Any one of them by themselves would cause major stress, but when you have 2 or 3 hitting at the same time, it’s easy to get this tunnel vision, where I just want it to end. I drop connections and activities, because I just want to get it done.  Or in other words, I start to just live and don’t have a life; thinking “I can start having a life again when XYZ is done”.  And all the fun get sucked out of my life.  We wake up each morning thinking about everything to do, but do we ever wake up thinking about “What will I do today to have some FUN”. Given where my mind has been with the items above, I’ve been thinking a lot more about how I can intentionally make having fun apart of my regular routines. 

In Hiking; we can get tunnel vision on goals we have set for ourselves; distance per month, elevation gain per month, setting new PRs on the incline, 14ers climbed etc. We start to lose track of why we are hiking in the first place and begin to limit ourselves on who we are hiking with because they don’t have the same goals or speed.   I think we have break out of this by adding a mixture of activities to our hiking.  Intentionally ask other to hike with us, Doing a trail in the opposite way, Putting together a new trail combination, Going for a hike without a watch on or time limitation, etc.  All these things can help put the FUN back into hiking.  Just image doing the Manitou Incline WITHOUT tracking your time!!!

In our Personal life; I think back and remember all the FUN we had playing “Kick the Can” with all the neighborhood kids in the middle of the street.  Internet, WIFI, smart phones, apps; all words never invented at that time and we still had FUN.  Yes, and no one ever got ran over while playing in the street either.  Fast forward to today and we tend to think that having FUN, has to involve play games on devices, watching movies, or binge-watching TV series.  All done in isolation and with no people interactions.  Here are two ways to break out and have FUN; 1) Hop in the car and do a half/all day road trip; exploring off beaten paths or small towns or 2) Get together with family or friends for game night with a favorite board game or card game.

At Work; we can break the work cycle by doing taking time for early morning hikes, lunch time walks/meals or team celebrations.  We get into the mind set of thinking we have all this work to do and can’t stop for any breaks.  Yet it is the breaks to have FUN that allows our brains to reset and recharge our batteries and soul.  Think of the lumber jack who stops on a regular basis to sharpen their chain saw blade.  Without the stop, the blade gets duller and duller till it’s no good or worse; breaks off.

Like everything else these days, unless we schedule it, FUN is not going to happen.  And it may not be with the same people.  We need to identify what we are going to do to have fun, who we want to do it with and when we will do it.  What are you going to do to start having FUN on a regular basis in your hiking, personal, and work life???

How much time do you spend each day living with FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real?  Given the current world we are living in with problems of: COVID, Political unrest, Unemployment, Health issues, Family issues, etc. there is a lot of FEAR out there.  Listening to the radio while on an errand today, the talk show host brought up this FEAR definition and it got me thinking that there is FEAR in the different areas of our lives.  We may not feel it every day, but it made me realize I spend more time with FEAR than I care to admit.  Peeling back the layers of FEAR, I can see it does affect my Hiking, Personal, and Work life.

In Hiking, I’ve let FEAR affect me before and during hikes.  How many times have we not gone on a hike because we said: it’s too cold, too dark, too much distance, too hot, I’m too tired, I’m never gone that distance, others are too fast, etc.  While some of these fears are real, many of these FEARS we allow into our mind are NOT true.  And then there is the FEAR we let in during the hikes. Starting up the Manitou Incline, I’ve let FEAR convince me that I’m not in shape and I need to take a break.  [And once I take that first break, I’m now taking them every few hundred steps, instead of pressing on through the FEAR.]  Or on other hikes, we tell others to “just go ahead, I can’t keep up with you”, convincing ourselves that their fast pace is more important than my safety hiking alone.  [And I’ve been on both sides of this coin.]

In my Personal life, I’ve let FEAR affect family relationships and how I think others see me. During uncomfortable discussions with my wife, FEAR jumps out and I take the issue on as something that demeans my personal value, as I think I’m a failure, all hope is lost, etc. – instead of separating the issue from who I am as a person.  Or during holiday times, I let FEAR creep in because all of my family members may not be there.   And I think it’s because of something I’ve not done or not done good enough.  FEAR then starts to affect the mood of the time I have with family members.

At work with unemployment, I have to guard against FEAR affecting my self-worth when I hear of others landing jobs or when I get my third offer decline of the day.  And when we have jobs, we tend to let the little mistakes we make start to make us think that our skill set isn’t good enough.

We all have and will continue to see “False Evidence Appearing Real” trying to get a toe-hold in our lives and creep in.  We need to fight this by watching out for false evidence and by looking at our hiking, personal, and work life to see where we have already let FEAR come in.  As I’ve said in many Trail Tips, this is where you need to have a confidant, where you can discuss your FEAR with them and let them be able to tell you where you have FEAR that you may not even be aware of. Having fear of certain things is important to have in our lives.  But FEAR is something that doesn’t belong anywhere in our lives.  It’s time to identify our FEAR(s), call them by name and get them out of our mind set.

How often do we pause to think about the risks involved with a task or project we are about to undertake?  If you are like me, the answer is going to be not very often.  Be it starting a hike, doing a house project, or a client document; my tendency is to just start the effort and say I’ll figure it out as I go along.  With the result at times; being a major failure.  To change our mindset to think about the risks and controls for tasks and projects, I propose we start to Pause & DRAW, or in other words, pause to do a Deliberate Risk Assessment Work sheet. This military Risk Management process involves: Identifying the hazards, Assessing the hazards, Developing controls and make risk decisions, Implementing controls, and Supervising and evaluate. DD Form 2977, Deliberate Risk Assessment Worksheet, January 2014 (army.mil)  https://www.nec.belvoir.army.mil/dol/documents/DRAW.pdf

While I’m not saying we need to fill out this worksheet every time we go something; I am saying my hiking, personal, and work life would look a lot different if I would take time to do some form of a Pause & DRAW on a regular basis before I start hikes, projects, and tasks. Consider these examples.

In hiking, hazards include ice/snow, heat, and storms rolling in at the higher altitudes. Take the Manitou Incline: Hazard is ice, Assessment (Risk) is High, Control is foot traction, Implementation is buying traction, and Supervising is must wear traction or don’t do it.  Another example is hiking above 10,000 feet: Hazard is weather, Risk is variable, Control is getting specific weather reports for the altitude you are climbing at, Implementation is change of plans (start earlier or change hike) and Supervising is share plans with people who can help you make that Go/No Go decision.

In my personal life, I think of house projects/tasks as where I would be in a different place financially and physically if I would have taken the time to Pause & DRAW.  I don’t think of how much having a kitchen remodeled is going to affect our eating out bill.  Or the physical cost from not stopping to think about what could happen; if I’m on a ladder cutting a tree branch with a chain saw.  The branch is cut, falls on ladder, I jump off ladder, right let is caught in ladder rung…

In my work life: doing a DRAW for client Statement of Work, would be great habit to start.  Have I paused to verify the numbers? Do we know ALL the requirements?  Will vacations impact the delivery date?  Are resources locked in to work on the project will we just try to schedule them in as we go along.  Are there other potential projects that could compete with and affect my resources?  Am I dependent on outside items that could affect the schedule?

Understanding DRAW, doesn’t mean we need to do one in detail for every hike, project, or work event.  However, I do know that my life will be a lot different if I take the time to Pause & DRAW a lot more.  And “taking the time” is key to success.  Most of my mistakes in life have been caused by not taking the time to properly assess the situation before I start.  Let’s begin to do more risk assessments by sharing our DRAWs with others and verbalizing them as a way get into the habit of Pause & DRAW.

Hope: A feeling of expectation and desire for a positive outcome.

It’s time to start a smoking habit.  It’s time to start Smoken Hope.  Just like we breath in air every minute of every day and don’t ever think about it.  We are also starting to breath in a lot of despair and depression with the world we are living in: COVID, unemployment, forced stay-at-home, lack of community and other things are affecting our mental health.  Just like smoking cigarettes is bad for our lungs; smoking -taking in- despair and depression is bad for our body and mental health.  But it’s time to change that projectory.  It’s time to start breathing in a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain (positive) outcome.  It starts with hoping for small things and starting to see hope around us.  Lysa Terkeurst says in her book Forgiving What You Can’t Forget; “What we look for is what we will see.  What we see determines our perspective.  And our perspective becomes our reality”.  She also gives the car example, where once you buy a certain car, you start to see them everywhere.  And that is so true.  We bought a Honda CRV a year ago and every time I drive it, I see them everywhere now.  If we are looking for HOPE, we will start to see it all around us.  Even in the drive thru at Chick-fil-A.  So how can we start Smoken Hope in our hiking, personal and work life?  Well it starts with declaring what we are not going take in to our mind and declaring what we are going to breath into our life.

In hiking with winter setting in; IT’S NOT; being discouraged by the short days, snow, ice, cold, and wind that is all around us.  IT IS: knowing that hiking through the winter will give you a strong base for the spring.  It is knowing that getting out will clear your head and make your heart stronger.  It is knowing that hiking Dixon Trail to the top of Cheyenne Mountain or Mt. Rosa will become a May hike and not a July hike.  [Both about 14 miles and over 3500 feet vertical.]

In our personal life, IT’S NOT: Fretting about not seeing all your family at holidays.  IT IS about enjoying the time with the family and friends we did get to see.  It is about seeing my sons sitting around the table and talking with us for an hour after the Thanksgiving meal was done.  IT’S Not about waking up in the morning with a sense of dread and doubt about your ability to function and get to the end of day.  IT IS about breathing in Hope and positive expectations for a great day.  IT IS about seeing the small positive things that build on each other.

In our work life, IT’S NOT: wondering if you have the right job skills, second guessing decisions you make, doubting your ability to get a job done well, or wondering if you made the right career choice to begin with.  IT IS about knowing you have God given skills that make you unique with a purpose for where you are working.  IT IS about having that sense of expectation for every task you complete and meeting you attend; AND knowing you can have a positive impact on your co-workers.

So, what kind of hope are you smoken? What expectations (hope) do you want for your hiking, personal, and work life? Have you shared that hope with others?  I challenge you in this difficult season to share your hope with others and ask them about what kind of hope they are smoken?  The next time you want to meet someone for a hike or a meal; start with “Let’s go on a hike and smoke some hope” or “Let’s get together some evening and smoke some hope.  Just like a cigar room gets filled with cigar smoke; your Smoken Hope room will begin to burst with HOPE. 

In closing I would like to acknowledge Jim Maffuccio for the phrase “Smoken Hope”, which was the genesis for this Trail Tip.

Image what it would feel like to be part of something that you could never talk about and then finding out 30 years later it wasn’t true. Or coming home from being on an extended assignment and not being able to tell your family about the most important thing that happened during your time away. And that is what happened on June 20th, 1970 when the USS Tautog Attack Submarine was trailing a Russian missile submarine (K-108) in the Pacific Ocean and they collided. Sonar operators on both subs heard noises sounding like the other sub had sunk. But instead of surfacing to search for survivors to exchange: name, rank, serial number, and insurance cards; they both hurried home and were told to never tell anyone. Then with the breakdown of the Soviet Union, the truth was revealed that both subs; while seriously damaged, made it back to home ports with no loss of life. Which gets to this Trail Tip about what False Beliefs are we believing now and how can we prevent them.
In hiking, a lot of my false beliefs are around the conditions; it’s too cold, too hot, too dark, too early, too cloudy, too far, too… Or thinking I’m not fast enough, I’m tired, or no one wants to hike with me. Then someone or some event pushes us over the hump, we go out and do it; then find ourselves catching a sun rise above the clouds on the Manitou Incline and saying to ourselves; “why didn’t I do this hike at this time years ago…” So what false beliefs are stopping you from getting out on the trails?
In our personal life, a lot of false beliefs come from the rushed judgements we make because we don’t have all the information or we don’t take time to get all the facts. Like the submarines that collided and didn’t stop to check on each other, we rush off and make our instant decisions that we carry around for years weighing us down. I remember laying on the ground after I broke my right tibia and fibula in 2013; immediately thinking I’ll never hike again and would have to use a cane; a belief I held for months. Family and friend relationships are damaged for years because we have made judgements without getting all the facts. We think it’s easier to carry false beliefs for years instead of taking the time to ask the hard questions right away. Or as Timothy Ferriss says “I believe success can be measured in the number of uncomfortable conversations we are willing to have.” What false beliefs are you carrying because you haven’t asked the hard questions?
In work, I think many false beliefs come from our lack of confidence in our abilities and skills. We don’t apply for the assignment, the new job, ask for help or start the new business because we think we will fail. So often we would rather settle for mediocre then aim for greatness. Then years later, we get a taste of what it would have been like, and then wonder why we wasted all those years. What false beliefs are holding you back in your career and what steps are you going to take to break out of them?
We all live with various false beliefs in our hiking, personal, and work lives. The first step is to acknowledge them and find a confidant that you can tell them to; someone who will hold you accountable to the actions you need to take to break free of them. Then create action plans and goals to dismantle these false beliefs. Doing these hard steps will set you free from the load of them on your mind and enable you to move forward to new levels of growth across these areas in your life.

For more information on this story of the USS Tautog; see the book “Blind Man’s Bluff, the untold story of American Submarine Espionage.”

Funerals.  Not exactly something that comes up on a daily basis in conversations or as an ice breaker with others.  I’ve yet to be in a conversation that started with any of these statements: “Have you attended any good funerals lately”, “Are you planning to attend any funerals this year”, “What’s the best/worst funeral you have ever attended”, “Did you learn anything from attending a recent funeral”.  And yet funerals are a part of our journey through life.  They are a sobering reminder of our mortality.  This hit home with me last month (December 2018) as there were funerals that happened in my hiking, personal, and work life.

In hiking, while I didn’t personally know anyone who died while out hiking, there were tragic stories in the news about individuals who have gone missing -now presumed dead- while hiking in the area. These become reminders as we are out hiking.  If you are hiking alone:  stay on well-marked trails, leave your trip itinerary with others, plan/pack for inclement weather, know your limitations, assess the risks, and take actions accordingly.  A few years ago I was hiking with a group to the top of Mt. Elbert (highest 14’er in Colorado), I fell behind and was about a half mile from the summit, when a lightning storm came in.  It became a decision of ether pushing to the summit or getting below tree line as quickly as possible.  My ego wanted to push on, but fortunately common sense prevailed and I went low.  Having lived and hiked in Colorado for some time now, hearing about tragedies on the mountains, serves as a remind to pause and reflect on what common sense I need to take into account before going and while on any hike.

In my personal life, I was impacted by the passing of a brother-in-law.  His funeral reminds me focus to on any “unfinished business” I need to address with those around me.  Do I need to make peace, ask for forgiveness, or right any wrongs with those around me?  And as I look at my own life; am I focused on the important things in my life, am I living a life with no regrets, am I living each day as a celebration of being alive?

In work, there was the passing of a co-worker’s parent and the unexpected passing of a co-worker who went out on medical leave; then was gone just a few weeks later.  When these things happen at work, it can become a delicate path to walk.  It’s that blurry line between “business” and “personal” life.    We spend about 2000 hours a year at work interacting with others, so by human nature, there becomes some personal connection.  For the passing of a co-worker’s relative, it can an acknowledgement of the loss with a one-on-one interaction saying a few words like: “I’m sorry to hear about your loss”.  For the co-worker who passed away, it was interesting to watch others pass by their cubical and pause for a moment or see groups of 3 to 5 people huddling together to reflect on the life of the person.  In both cases it comes down to the acknowledge of the loss of life and making the appropriate response.

Funerals remind us to: focus on what is important in life, admit our vulnerabilities, letting others know we acknowledge their loss/pain, and for us to come together as a community to comfort each other and remember the life of the one who passed away. It’s a time of mourning; but also a time to celebrate the life they have lived.  And for us to remember to celebrate the life we live on a daily basis in our hiking, personal, and work environments