Ok, you just had a hard event hit your life (See my Trail Tip: “Getting prepared for the hard events that will hit us in life”); now what??? How do we start the road to recovery? If there is only one thing you should take away from this trail tip, it is what you hear on a plane.
“In case of emergency, oxygen masks will drop down in front of you. Please pull the mask down toward your face and place the mask over your mouth and nose. If you are traveling with a child, please attend to yourself first, then the child [and everyone else around you].”
If you are not healthy, how can you take care of those around you? You need to rest, realize that 80% of the stuff we are doing really isn’t that important after-all, and reach out for help on your recovery journey.
In a physical accident, the recovery starts with realizing you are going to have to rely on others to do just about everything for you. It strips away the pride you have and make you very humble. I couldn’t drive for 6 weeks and when home I had to keep my leg elevated all the time. We opened up the sofa sleeper in the family room and when guests came over, there was always at least one other person on the couch with me. Recovery is gradual and consistent. With the rod in my leg, I wasn’t put into a cast and my recovery therapy consisted of putting my right leg on a bathroom scale to gradually (over several months) put more weight on my leg. It was hard put more than even a few pounds of pressure when I first started. Recovery -like training- is a combination of exercise and rest.
In life, as we go through a death, we don’t realize how hard we can be pushing ourselves until after the event and we come down with an illness. After my dad passed away, both my brother and I both got the flu and ended up at the family doctor together (just like old times). Part of the problem is that we push ourselves through the event -which can take days, weeks, or even months- then we get back to our routine and think we can put in 20 hours days and catch up with everything; NOT! Just like recovery from a physical event; the stress on the body from a family death can wear us down and cause a serious illness if we don’t take care of ourselves. Remember, focus on only the top 10 to 20 percent of the things you need to get done. The rest really don’t matter in the long run.
In a work layoff situation, we think we need to be applying for jobs 12 hours a day. But that just isn’t possible. A job search is a very stressful period, so you need to have that balance of applying for jobs, networking, creating new contacts, exercising, and other activities to stimulate/focus your body, mind, and spirit. Accountability and discussion with a close friend/peer mentor is key to helping you stay focused.
Recovery is possible but it takes time. Time, you can only get by making your recovery (your life) a priority and saying NO to 80% of the things you think you still need to be doing each day. During this time: your focus, goals, and activities need to center around getting yourself through the recovery journey. Because then, and only then; [with your mask securely fastened] will you be able to put the mask on of those around you.
Al Andersen 