Funerals. Not exactly something that comes up on a daily basis in conversations or as an ice breaker with others. I’ve yet to be in a conversation that started with any of these statements: “Have you attended any good funerals lately”, “Are you planning to attend any funerals this year”, “What’s the best/worst funeral you have ever attended”, “Did you learn anything from attending a recent funeral”. And yet funerals are a part of our journey through life. They are a sobering reminder of our mortality. This hit home with me last month (December 2018) as there were funerals that happened in my hiking, personal, and work life.
In hiking, while I didn’t personally know anyone who died while out hiking, there were tragic stories in the news about individuals who have gone missing -now presumed dead- while hiking in the area. These become reminders as we are out hiking. If you are hiking alone: stay on well-marked trails, leave your trip itinerary with others, plan/pack for inclement weather, know your limitations, assess the risks, and take actions accordingly. A few years ago I was hiking with a group to the top of Mt. Elbert (highest 14’er in Colorado), I fell behind and was about a half mile from the summit, when a lightning storm came in. It became a decision of ether pushing to the summit or getting below tree line as quickly as possible. My ego wanted to push on, but fortunately common sense prevailed and I went low. Having lived and hiked in Colorado for some time now, hearing about tragedies on the mountains, serves as a remind to pause and reflect on what common sense I need to take into account before going and while on any hike.
In my personal life, I was impacted by the passing of a brother-in-law. His funeral reminds me focus to on any “unfinished business” I need to address with those around me. Do I need to make peace, ask for forgiveness, or right any wrongs with those around me? And as I look at my own life; am I focused on the important things in my life, am I living a life with no regrets, am I living each day as a celebration of being alive?
In work, there was the passing of a co-worker’s parent and the unexpected passing of a co-worker who went out on medical leave; then was gone just a few weeks later. When these things happen at work, it can become a delicate path to walk. It’s that blurry line between “business” and “personal” life. We spend about 2000 hours a year at work interacting with others, so by human nature, there becomes some personal connection. For the passing of a co-worker’s relative, it can an acknowledgement of the loss with a one-on-one interaction saying a few words like: “I’m sorry to hear about your loss”. For the co-worker who passed away, it was interesting to watch others pass by their cubical and pause for a moment or see groups of 3 to 5 people huddling together to reflect on the life of the person. In both cases it comes down to the acknowledge of the loss of life and making the appropriate response.
Funerals remind us to: focus on what is important in life, admit our vulnerabilities, letting others know we acknowledge their loss/pain, and for us to come together as a community to comfort each other and remember the life of the one who passed away. It’s a time of mourning; but also a time to celebrate the life they have lived. And for us to remember to celebrate the life we live on a daily basis in our hiking, personal, and work environments
Al Andersen 