The last Trail Tip discussed the bad habits we have picked up in 2017 and how to change them. The flip side of this is reading the habits of those around us. As a leader, parent, friend, spouse, co-worker, manager; it’s important to have a baseline of the habits of those around us, so we know how and when to offer support to them. Because a change in a habit is often tied to a change in a life event taking place. Which is why retail stores have those customer loyalty cards that they want you to swipe every time you make a purchase, because they are creating a baseline of your buying habits and looking for changes. And what do you think is the “Holy Grail” of life event changes they want to know about you??? It is: are you pregnant? Because your purchasing patterns change -like nothing else- when you are pregnant and they want to capture your future purchases. And now that we have covered that tangent and gotten you completely paranoid about swiping your loyalty cards, let’s discuss how being able to read the habits of others can help in our hiking, personal, and work journeys.
In hiking, what are the habits of those you hike with? What is their baseline: How often are they getting out?, Has their hiking time changed?, Are they doing the same trails all the time?, What are their hiking goals? Once you know these things, watch for changes. Has something changed where they are only doing very select trails, going at different times, or not going at all? These changes can be a way of crying out for help, without saying anything. I know that I have been very prideful at times with not wanting to ask for help.
In our personal life, it’s recognizing the daily routines (habits) of those around us and watching for changes. How many have we asked ourselves questions like: I haven’t seen ____ in church lately? I wonder why we haven’t gotten a Christmas card from ____ for the past two years? You know, I haven’t gotten a catch-up phone call from ____ in the past two months, I wonder if they are OK? I see Al outside more often during the week, I wonder if he got laid off? We all ask ourselves these questions, but do we do anything with them? Do we do any follow-up to check on them?
In our professional life, the habit baseline can be how & when people respond to emails, voice mails, etc. When do they come into work? Are they usually early or late for meetings? Do they ever miss meetings completely? Do they seem more withdrawn or distracted? Being aware of these changes is the first step in looking for overall habit changes in your colleagues and the events behind those changes.
Keep in mind, that we need to earn the right to be asking questions about changes to a person’s life and we need to being doing it with the right motives. Plus, we need to know the environment in which to ask them. Be it asking questions about changes in their hiking, personal, or work life; you never want to asking them questions in a group setting. It needs to be done one-on-one in a safe environment. And surprise, surprise, I’ve found that most people open up to me when we are outside for a walk, hike, or a run. There is something about being outside that allows for comfortable moments of silence, verses being at a restaurant where you are looking at each other and having those awkward moments of silence.
But why, why bother with all of this? I would state the answer is COMMUNITY. Malcolm Gladwell in his book, Outliers, starts with “The Roseto Mystery, a community where people were dying of old age [and nothing else]… [where] the values of the world we inhabit and the people we surround ourselves with have a profound effect on who we are.” And how long we will live. Thus, engaging in your community and the people around you will have a greater impact on your health than any of the conventional wisdom things they say you should doing to have a long life. So give your friends permission to talk to you when they see changes in your own habits, which in turn will see them giving you permission to ask about changes in their habits.
Al Andersen 